Orthodox Asceticism and Spirituality for the Modern World

Orthodox Asceticism and Spirituality for the Modern World

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Judging our Neighbor, Judging Ourselves

     Growing up in an evangelical church, as a child I can often remember Sunday school teachers, preachers, or even my mother (on occasion) saying that we should “hate the sin, but love the sinner.”  This was meant to be helpful, to allow me – and others growing up in the culture of the “Bible Belt” – to love others as Jesus loved (and loves) them.  The problem, however, is that it too many times allows us to pass judgment on others.  (And, I must add, that I don’t think many of my loving teachers and “elders” meant for this saying to work in such a way.  It’s one of those sayings that’s meant to be used in a loving way, but this use of it doesn’t take in the psyche of our fallen nature, or it doesn’t admit how truly prideful and broken we are, incapable of using such a saying in a constructive manner.)  The fact is that we – in our human and sinful nature – will end up passing judgment on our neighbor for his or her sins, for it is almost impossible for us (because of our own sinfulness) to separate the sin from the sinner.
     The Orthodox Church takes a different approach to judgment.  It allows judgment to remain where it should: with God.  Judgment (and salvation, for that matter) are God’s domain, not ours.
     Here are some words from Abba Dorotheos[1] on not judging others:
The Publican and the Pharisee
     It is one thing to speak evilly or reproach, it is another to judge, and yet another to belittle. To reproach means to say of someone that he lied, or got angry, or fell into fornication, or did some other such thing. Such a one has spoken evilly of his brother, that is, he has spoken with passion concerning his brother's sins. But to judge is to say that the man is a liar, an angry man, a fornicator. Here he has judged the very disposition of that man’s soul, he has pronounced a sentence on his whole life by saying that he is such a thing, and he has judged him as such; and this a serious sin. For it is one thing to say "He became angry," and another thing to say, "He is an angry man," and as I have said, to thus pronounce a sentence on his whole life. The sin of judging is so much more serious than any other sin that Christ Himself said, Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother's eye (Luke 6:42), and the sin of one's neighbor is like a mote—a sliver; while judging is like a beam. So serious is judging, surpassing every other sin.
     And that Pharisee praying and thanking God for his own virtues did not lie; he was telling the truth, and was not for this that he was condemned—for we should thank God when we have been vouchsafed to do something good, as He has helped us and worked with us to do it. The Pharisee was not condemned, as I said, for thanking God, enumerating his virtues, and he was not condemned for saying, I am not like other men (Lk. 18:11); but when he turned his attention to the publican and said or like this publican. Then he was given over to condemnation, for he condemned a person and the disposition of his soul—to put it briefly, his whole life. Therefore, the publican rather than the Pharisee went away justified.
     Nothing is more serious, as I have said many times, nothing worse than judging, having contempt for or despising our neighbor.
On Judgment Remaining in God’s Domain
     Why do we not rather judge ourselves and our own sins, which we know so well, and about which we have to give an answer before God? Why do we usurp God's right to judge? What do we demand from His creature, His servant? Ought we not to tremble when we hear about what happened to that great elder, who upon hearing of a brother falling into fornication said, "Oh, he has done badly!" Or do you not know about the terrible story related in the Patericon? For an angel brought [Isaac the Theban] the soul of someone who had fallen into sin, and said to him, "Here is the person you have judged. He has just died. Where do you order him to be put, into the Kingdom or into eternal punishment?" Could there be anything more terrible than this burden? What else could the angel mean by these words than, "Since you want to be the judge of the righteous and the sinners, what do you command for this poor soul? Shall you have mercy on him, or give him over to tortures?" The holy elder, stunned by this, spent the rest of his life in moaning and tears and measureless work, praying to God to be forgiven this sin, and all this after having fallen face to the ground before the angel and been forgiven, for the angel said to him, "You see, God has shown you what a serious sin is judging, so that you would never do it again. This signified forgiveness but the soul of the elder would not be consoled or cease its lamentations until he died.
     So what is it we want from our neighbor? Why are we so concerned about the burden of others? We have plenty to be concerned about, brothers! Let each one of us attend to himself and his own sins. God alone has the authority to judge, to justify or to condemn, inasmuch as He knows the state of each one of us and our upbringing and our gifts, our constitution and abilities, and it is for him to judge each of these things according to the knowledge that He alone has. For God judges the affairs of a bishop in one way and those of a secular governor in another. His judgment is different for an abbot or for a disciple; he judges differently the aged and the young, the sick man and the healthy man. Who could understand all these judgments except the One who has created everything, formed everything, knows everything?
     I remember once hearing the following story: a slave ship put in at a certain port where there lived a holy virgin who was in earnest about her spiritual life. When she learned about the arrival of the ship she was glad, for she wanted to purchase a little girl. She thought to herself, "I will take her into my home and bring her up in my way of life so that she knows nothing of the evils of the world." So she sent and enquired of the master of the ship and found that he had two small girls who he thought would suit her. Whereupon she gladly paid the price of one of the children and took her home. The ship's master left the place where the saint dwelt. He had not gone very far when he was met by a harlot, totally depraved, who saw the other small girl with him and wanted to buy her; the price was agreed and paid, and she took her away. Do you see this mystery of God? Do you see His judgment? Which of us could give explain this? The holy virgin took one of these little ones to bring her up in the fear of God, to instruct her in every good work, to teach her all that belongs to the monastic state and, in short, all the sweet fragrance of God's holy commandments. The harlot, having taken the unfortunate child, made her an instrument of the devil. For what could this plague teach her but the ruin of her soul? What can we have to say about this terrible fate? Both were small, both were sold, neither knew where they were going; one is found in the hands of God and the other falls into the hands of the devil. Is it possible to say that what God asks from the one he asks also from the other? How could that be! Suppose they both fell into fornication or some other deadly sin; is it possible that they both face the same judgment, although they fell into one and the same sin? Could this be possible? One learns about the Judgment and about the Kingdom of God day and night, while the other unfortunate knows nothing of it, never hears anything good but only the contrary, everything filthy, everything diabolical? How can He allow them to be judged by the same standard?
     Wherefore a man can know nothing about the judgments of God. He alone is all-seeing and can judge the sins of all as He alone knows. Truly it happens that a man may do some sin out of simplicity, but he may have something good about him which is more pleasing to God than his whole life; and you sit in judgment and burden your own soul? And should it happen that he has fallen away, how do you know how much and how well he fought, how much blood he sweated before he did it? Perhaps so little fault can be found in him that God can look on his action as if it were just, for God looks on his labor and all the struggle he had before he did it, and has pity on him. And you know only his sin, then how God spared him; are you going to condemn him for it, and destroy your own soul? And how do you know what tears he has shed about it before God? You may well know about the sin, but you do not know about the repentance.
On Not Judging Others for Your Own Salvation
     Those who want to be saved scrutinize not the shortcomings of their neighbor but always their own, and they make progress. Such was the man who saw his brother doing wrong and sighed, saying, "Woe is me; him today—me tomorrow!" Do you see his caution? Do you see the disposition of his soul? How he swiftly foresaw how to avoid judging his brother? When he said "me tomorrow" he aroused fear of sinning, and by this he increased his caution about avoiding those sins which he was likely to commit, and so he escaped judging his neighbor; and he was not satisfied only with this, but cast himself under his brother's feet, saying, "He has repented for his sin but I do not always repent as I should, nor do I attain to repentance, for I have not the strength to repent." Do you see the divine light in his soul? Not only was he able to escape making judgment but he threw himself beneath his brother's feet as well. And we wretches judge rashly, we loathe and despise if we see something, or hear something, or even only suspect something! And what is worse, we do not let it stop at harming ourselves, but we go and look for another brother and say, "Here is what happened!" We harm him and put vile sin into his heart also and we do not fear the saying, Woe to the man who gives his neighbor something dark and dangerous to drink (Habbakuk 2:15)! But we do the devil's work and are not one bit concerned about it. What else has the devil to do but disturb and harm us? We are found to work with him for our own destruction and that of our neighbor, for a man who harms his own soul is working with, and helping, the demons. The man who seeks to profit his soul is co-operating with the angels. How is it that we fall into this state unless it is because we have no true love? If we had true love, then we would view our neighbor's shortcomings with co-suffering and compassion, as it is said, Love shall cover the multitude of sins (I Peter 4:8). Love thinketh no evil; covers everything and the rest (I Cor. 13:5).
     As I said, if we have true love, that very love would cover all sins, as did the saints when they saw the shortcomings of men. Were they blind and did not see sins? And who hated sin more than the saints? But they did not hate the sinners all the same time, nor condemn them, nor turn away from them, but they suffered with them, admonished them, comforted them, gave them remedies as sickly members, and did all they could to save them. Take a fisherman: when he casts his hook into the sea and a large fish takes the bait, he perceives first that the fish struggles violently and is full of fight, so he does not try to pull it in immediately by main force for the line would break and the catch would be lost in the end. No, he rather plays out the line and, as he says, allows the fish to run freely, but when he feels the line slacken and the first struggles have calmed down, he takes up the slack line and begins, little by little, to draw him in. So the holy fathers, by patience and love, draw the brother and do not spurn him nor become disgusted with him. As a mother who has an unruly son does not hate him or turn away from him but adorns him with love, and everything she does, she does for his consolation; so do the saints always cover, adorn and help the sinner, so that with time he will correct himself, and not harm anyone else, and in doing so they themselves greatly advance towards the love of Christ.





[1] Abba Dorotheos was a monk who lived at the end of the 6th century and into the 7th.  These words on not judging others comes from his book “Practical Teachings on the Christian Life” as it’s commonly known.